Before anything else, I want to thank you sincerely. I was touched to receive comments, messages, and cards of sympathy after the loss of my brother. You are good friends who not only share the fun and laughter, but you are there in times of need.
Patrick was one of my best friends and there is now a big hole in my heart. It will take time for me to get used to not talking with him several nights every week. He could make me laugh so hard, he was my computer tech, my sounding board, my brother, and my friend. Time will help but it will never erase the memories or the love.
I have cried myself dry and I have thought about every aspect of our lives together throughout the years. He was taken away much too early, but I know that he is now with God and he is at peace. I have to believe that he will watch over me, my sister, and my mother and I believe he is with those friends and loved ones who went before him. Knowing that he no longer has to deal with the imperfections of life is the one thing that keeps me sane in all of this.
I have done a lot of thinking. Patrick's passing has affected me differently than any other death I've encountered in this life. It has been the most painful and it has made me realize our time on this earth is short. It has made me realize that I need to make every minute of my life count. I need to find joy in everything I do. I've tried to be good to others all my life, but now I really need and want to make that a priority.
I know there will be more tears, but I will smile, too, when I remember the love and the good times we shared.
One thing I am sure of. If Patrick could, he would be scolding me for not posting to my Blog in over a week. Anytime I didn't post something in 2-3 days, he would send me an email telling me that Blogger was going to cancel my Blog for lack of participation. So, I am going to get back to blogging and back to some kind of normalcy. I now realize that I can talk to Patrick anytime I want and he will be listening.
I love you, Bro. This post is dedicated to you.