Thursday, October 7, 2010

Pictures, Memories, and Filling Every Minute of Life With the Best I Can

Before anything else, I want to thank you sincerely. I was touched to receive comments, messages, and cards of sympathy after the loss of my brother. You are good friends who not only share the fun and laughter, but you are there in times of need.
Patrick was one of my best friends and there is now a big hole in my heart. It will take time for me to get used to not talking with him several nights every week. He could make me laugh so hard, he was my computer tech, my sounding board, my brother, and my friend. Time will help but it will never erase the memories or the love.
I have cried myself dry and I have thought about every aspect of our lives together throughout the years. He was taken away much too early, but I know that he is now with God and he is at peace. I have to believe that he will watch over me, my sister, and my mother and I believe he is with those friends and loved ones who went before him. Knowing that he no longer has to deal with the imperfections of life is the one thing that keeps me sane in all of this.
I have done a lot of thinking. Patrick's passing has affected me differently than any other death I've encountered in this life. It has been the most painful and it has made me realize our time on this earth is short. It has made me realize that I need to make every minute of my life count. I need to find joy in everything I do. I've tried to be good to others all my life, but now I really need and want to make that a priority.
I know there will be more tears, but I will smile, too, when I remember the love and the good times we shared.
One thing I am sure of. If Patrick could, he would be scolding me for not posting to my Blog in over a week. Anytime I didn't post something in 2-3 days, he would send me an email telling me that Blogger was going to cancel my Blog for lack of participation. So, I am going to get back to blogging and back to some kind of normalcy. I now realize that I can talk to Patrick anytime I want and he will be listening.
I love you, Bro. This post is dedicated to you.
♥ audrey


yoborobo said...

Audrey, you should never worry that you are not a good friend, because I know you are a loving inspiration to everyone who knows you. I know this has to be so very hard for you. Sending you love!! Pam

Emelie said...

What a wonderful handsome brother,it takes one's breath away to see the photos.
Will think of you as you grieve and there is no hurry in grief.
I only know you here, but I do understand pain of loss.

Marlene said...

Patrick was a very handsome man and I know how much you loved your brother. He will always be there for you in your heart. Hugs to you my friend.

Jan said...

I'm glad to see you back, it means you have started on that long road of recovering after your loss. I know you will miss Patrick forever but you are right in that he is also always with you. Wow, he was like movie star handsome, wasn't he! You take care, my friend.

Deborah said...

Oh my, what a handsome guy! That's a lot to miss. I love the picture of him as a little boy. It looks like he never lost his joy for life. Yes, now you must carry his joy. Life to the fullest. **kisses** Deb

La Dolce Vita said...

so sorry to come in late and find out about your brother. so sorry to hear that you are in mourning. I know how difficult it is to loose a sib. my brother died last year too and it is a wake up call for sure. much different than loosing parents, we expect to loose them, but the death of siblings makes us realize that we need to take nothing for granted and LIVE each moment. sending you much.. much.. love and hugs... cat

La Dolce Vita said...

ps your rosary is on it's way.. xox

love is colder than death said...

Fairy Fish, im so sorry to hear this.
and im sorry i had been away for so long. i was sick.

im happy to see you back.
thank you for the lovely comment.
im sure that your brother is riding the beautiful peacock, floating up above among all those soft feathers, yes.

i miss you too.

hugs to Fairy Fish.
what are you going to do this weekend?

Shelby said...

He sure was a handsome man! I know you will miss him forever. I'm glad you posted.